Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Lush Life Chronicles Glossary

A

The Act That Dare Not Speak It's Name (Part 1) (see also CSI: Rosati): This refers to an event occurring during my senior year at Xavier University when Nick Rosati hooked up with a girl, whose name shall not be besmirched here, and woke up with hickies covering the entirity of his throat and his earlobes black having been drained of all their blood.

The Act That Dare Not Speak It's Name (Part 2): This refers to an event taking place over a year after Part One at Animations Bar in which Andrew Smith got drunk and attempted to nibble on Nick Rosati's ears leading Nick to freak out due in part to trauma flashbacks.


B

Burrows, Matt: A good friend of Ray's from La Canada. Interesting characteristics include the fact that he is 6'9", loves the San Antonio Spurs, and always does the right thing. (See also: Matt Burrow's quotes)

C

CSI: Rosati (see also The Act That Dare Not Speak It's Name (Part 1)): This refers to an event occurring during my senior year at Xavier University when Nick Rosati hooked up with a girl, whose name shall not be besmirched here, and woke up with hickies covering the entirity of his throat and his earlobes black having been drained of all their blood. It is called CSI: Rosati because it looked like somebody had dusted for fingerprints on his neck.

D

The Daily Grind: Nick Rosati's blog. It can be found here.

Double - Double: I will refer to a double - double in two ways on this blog:
1. A delicious meal from In-N-Out Burger consisting of two patties of fresh beef and cheese on a toasted bun.
2. The First Pillar of the 12 Pillars of the American Dream that leads towards the Lush Life. It refers to the realized dream of being able to enjoy great food.

DSR: An acronym meaning Drunk Search Radius. This is the area that one will need to keep open as a search radius for a friend when they go missing while intoxicated. Some examples include:
Alyssa Deutsch = 0.2 miles
Nick Rosati = 1.5 miles
Andrew Smith = 5+ miles

E

F


Fancy: The mantra by which Erin Swietlik lives her life. Also, one of the worst insults you can call someone in the mind of Ray O'Brien

Frenemy: A person within your circle of friends who harbors mutual resentment for you and whom you possess an adversarial relationship with based upon mutual shaming and some light pranking. Ray is currently searching for one.

Frenemosity: An exciting relationship in which two alleged friends who actually harbor a good deal of disdain for each other (frenemies) attempt to subvert and embarrass each other to improve standing in the group. It is a portmanteau of the words friendly and animosity.

G

Generation U: This is short for Generation Useless which is the generation that is being created by America's movement away from gender roles which is creating a society of people who can't cook, sew, or perform basic repairs to their car or house.

H

Hindenberg: Ray often uses this word to denote that something is a disaster. He will usually tack on a modifying adjective to let the reader or listener know why it is a disaster (e.g. financial Hindenberg, culinary Hindenberg, relationship Hindenberg)

I


In-N-Out Secret Menu: This refers to the portion of the menu at In-N-Out burger that is not listed in writing and that can only be ordered by those familiar with the workings of the establishment. The bulk of the secret menu revolves around the burgers. The company advertises that "Animal Style" is one of the most popular "secret" styles; in addition to the standard toppings, Animal Style burgers include pickles, extra spread, grilled onions, and mustard fried onto each meat patty. "3×3" (pronounced 3-by-3), "4×4", or variations of "m" × "c", refers to a burger with a varied amount of meat patties, "m", and slices of cheese, "c": e.g. a burger with six meat patties and three slices of cheese is a "6×3". The In-N-Out "secret menu" section of the website only mentions the 3x3 and 4x4. There are instances of extremely large sandwiches including a 100x100, and possibly the largest variation, a 666x666. It was created for a Caltech Ditch Day stack in Ricketts House in the spring of 1997. The sandwich was so large, the purchaser had to construct a steel trough to transport it.

In-N-Out has two low carbohydrate offerings, akin to the Atkins diet. "Protein Style", introduced in the 1970s, replaces the bun with large leaves of lettuce; while the "Flying Dutchman" is a 2x2 with no bun, vegetables, or spread.

Secret Menu Variations:

  • Hamburgers - "Double Meat" or "Triple Meat" for multiple patties.
  • # by # - Any number of patties and slices of cheese.
  • Veggie Burger - a sandwich containing only vegetables, without meat or cheese.
  • Grilled Cheese Sandwich - served with tomato, lettuce and spread.
  • Extra Everything - adds extra spread, tomato, lettuce, and onions (regular or grilled).
  • Extra Toast - bun is toasted longer.
  • Chopped Chilies - mild, pickled chopped peppers are added to the burger.
  • Protein Style - replace buns with lettuce.
  • Flying Dutchman - meat and cheese sans vegetables and bun.
  • Animal Style[r] - patties are grilled with mustard or "mustard fried", add pickles, add grilled onions, lettuce, tomatoes, and extra spread.

It is not wrong to thong: A catch-phrase used by Ray to encourage slutty behavior. He has modified it to "It is not wrong to Kong.", "It is not wrong to bong.", and "It is not wrong to Pong." to fit other situations.

J

K

L


Lush Life: A man or woman's quest to discover for themselves and attain the Twelve Pillars of the American Dream. The Lush Life is simply about living well.

Lush Life Chronicles Elegant 111
: Pronounced "Eleventy-one". This is the annual list that Ray puts out of his 111 hottest women on the planet.

M

Matt Burrow's Quotes: Unintentionally hilarious quotes by Matt Burrows. There are two which will often be referenced on this blog:
1. "Ray, you know what you get when you go to Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles? You get chicken. You get waffles. You get a bullet." -Burrow's very racist comment regarding why we should not go to Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles
2. I think we should all go to the Art Museum with John...(10 second pause)...and have a terrible time! - The first mean thing I ever heard Matt Burrows say about somebody
McCain, John: Republic senator from Arizona and 2008 Presidential nominee. He is a personal hero of Ray's and a member of the first class of the Awesomeness Hall of Fame.

Meh: An interaction conveying apathy or disinterest that is often used by Ray and his cohorts. The word was originally coined by Homer Simpson of FOX's The Simpsons.

N

O

P

PETAphiles: Overzealous PETA followers who have a sickening ability to promote their own agenda to the detriment of other people.

Q

R


S


ShadowHare: An amateur superhero in Cincinnati, Ohio who leads a group of other amateur superheroes in fighting crime and trying to make a difference in the city. Nick Rosati and Erin Swietlik are big fans of the ShadowHare and went to a 10 for 10 at Mount Adams Pavillion to meet him. Ray thinks that he is absolutely ridiculous and not in a good way.


Special: One of Ray's biggest pet peeves. He is of the opinion that it is the major cause of the world's problems. It refers to the belief that one is overtly important and that they are entitled to certain things that others may not have a similar entitlement towards. When referring to something that is wrong with are society Ray will often say: "It all comes down to special".

T


Twelve Pillars of the American Dream: The 12 Steps that one must achieve in order to attain the Lush Life. Ray is announcing one of these Pillars each month. The First Pillar is the Double - Double.

U

V

Vermonster: A delicious monstrous ice cream sundae designed by Ben and Jerry that contains over 20 scoops of Ice Cream that Ray has vowed that he will partake of at some juncture in his life.

W

Women's Final at the 2007 US Open: This is usually in reference to a bet made between Ray and Nick during their junior year of college. Ray was so disgusted by the fact that the WTA's resident choke-job, Svetlana Kuznetsova, had made the final that he stated that she would not win 5 games. Nick told him that he was incorrect so Ray promptly decided that he would put his money where his mouth was and bet $10 on the under (4.5) knowing that this was an idiotic bet on his part. However, Justine Henin proceeded to demolish Kuznetsova (6-1, 6-3) in the worst game of tennis ever played to that point in history proving Ray correct and winning him $10.

X

Y

Yoga Dates: Nick Rosati and Erin Swietlik's Sunday afternoon yoga dates. These led to much speculation about the nature of their relationship and their motives for doing yoga. It also leads to many references regarding the ridiculous names of variuos yoga positions (e.g. Flowing Cobra, Ornary Penguin, and Proselytizing Flamingo).

Z